I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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