My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
