omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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