STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So vagazzling was a success
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
