I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize