Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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