he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
