Christians are straight up FREAKS
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
