He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
