The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
