So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
