I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
