Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
be right there i have to get my cape
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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