brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
