Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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