if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
