I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
