The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize