it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize