Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
