Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
