3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
