In the future we'll all be gay
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
