I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize