There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
