Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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