Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
