so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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