I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
