i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
