Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
