what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
