Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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