I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
