and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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