the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
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It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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