I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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