Porn is love you can see.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
