Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
