Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize