Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The power of my boobs compel you
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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