It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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