i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
