another moral hangover. fuck.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
