Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
