you guys were way drunker than both of me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
