shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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