I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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