you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
