I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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