All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
