he wants to bone in the snuggie
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
