God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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