I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize