if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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