its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
