One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
