she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
