Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize