You can't special order awesome
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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