i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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