When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
