I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
