I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
