Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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