no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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